Are you tired of having smooth-running relations with your trustworthy Chinese business partners? Do you want to prevent Chinese-Western cooperation right from the start? Do something about it! It’s really not that hard.
We have compiled some tongue-in-cheek tips on how to prevent doing business with Chinese counterparts. Of course you could also do the exact opposite, which might improve collaboration significantly. Read and decide for yourself.
Preparing for China
1. Guanxi and contacts?
Absolutely unnecessary in the People’s Republic. Just pack your suitcase and travel to China without any preparation. Make it all up as you go along and avoid establishing relationships. That way you reduce your chances for successful business opportunities to a minimum.
Business in China
2. Communication in China?
Forget Chinese! Insist on speaking your mother tongue. That’s the only way to ensure failure in communication from the start. If, unexpectedly, your counterpart does understand you, try talking in dialects and vernacular. Should that not help, mumble.
3. Negotiating in China?
Put your foot down! Show them who’s boss and increase your volume if necessary. To avoid successful negotiations in China, never hide your anger. If you are invited to dinner beforehand, refuse in the most impolite manner.
4. Discussing culture in China?
Avoiding conflicts? Why? If there is something you don’t like, complain. Unsatisfied with the hotel? Rant about it! Your office is too small? Throw a fit! It’s the only way to effectively avoid harmonious cooperation in China.
Social skills in China
5. Gifts in China?
Absolutely unnecessary if you want to avoid success. Don’t ever bring any gifts as it could lead to working relationships. Don’t accept them either – no matter how much it would delight you. This could lead to a positive atmosphere and potentially influence your relationships in a good way.
6. Table manners in China?
Start every meal by visibly and audibly blowing your nose. Leave the tissue right in front of you on the table. Avoid raising your glass, drink by yourself and avoid eye contact. Always empty your plate, even if you are already full.
7. Physical contact in China?
Kiss on the left, kiss on the right? Definitely something to try in China. Why not introduce French custom? By insisting on close physical contact with Chinese business partners from the start, you are not running the danger of being socially accepted. Business failure is certain.
China follow up
8. Cultivating contacts with Chinese?
Have you, against all expectations, established a working business relationship with a Chinese partner? Then never get in touch with them again. Avoid all contact especially during the holidays. That is the only way to avoid further success in the future.
9. Mutual support?
A colleague or partner from China, who you have known for a while, is asking you for a favor? Definitely say no, preferably without stating a reason. Don’t make an exception even if you still owe that person a favor. Otherwise they might think fondly of you.
10. Visa for China?
Try it without. By being denied entry into the country, successful negotiation on site becomes highly improbable. If there are unexpected opportunities for Chinese-Western cooperation outside of China, just follow steps 1 to 9.
Isn’t it incredibly easy to nip Western-Chinese cooperation in the bud? If you don’t plan on doing so, you are welcome to avoid all of the above tips. At least that is what we choose to do.